SNIPPETS

APRIL 10,  2010

Update to a previous Snippet:  (Reuters) - A German woman arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle a corpse onto a plane says her husband was still alive when they reached Liverpool airport.  Gitta Jarant told Bild newspaper on Friday she hopes to get the remains of her husband Willi from Britain as soon as possible to have him cremated -- and then return to Berlin.  Jarant and her daughter were arrested at Liverpool's John Lennon airport on Saturday suspected of failing to give notice of Willi's death. She told the paper the 91-year-old former pilot had died at the airport just before the flight.  "I'm not a smuggler," Jarant, 66, told Bild. "My Willi only died at the airport. He suddenly looked so lifeless, like a wax figure. His fingernails turned blue all of a sudden. At home he was still warm -- I swear!"

Hmm.  His fingernails turned blue "all of a sudden," and she was at the airport, and she didn't scream for help?  And she remembered that he was still warm at home?  Why am I not buying this?

APRIL 9,  2010

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla., April 8 (UPI) -- Sheriff's deputies in Florida said a 19-year-old woman who asked for a ride home was arrested after opening a can of malt liquor in the back of the patrol car.  The Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office said Tasha Lee Cantrell, 19, asked Deputy Mitchell Landis for a ride to her Fort Walton Beach home after her friend was pulled over and arrested for driving under the influence, TheSmokingGun.com reported Thursday.

In the immortal words of the great philosopher Jerry Lewis, "Bad looks you can change; stupid is forever."

APRIL 8,  2010

From CBS:  Police have arrested two women at a British airport after they reportedly tried to bring a corpse onto a flight.  Police said Tuesday the women were detained at Liverpool's John Lennon airport "on suspicion of failing to give notification of death" of a 91-year-old man.  The BBC and other British media reported that the women placed the man, Curt Willi Jarant, into a wheelchair and covered his face with sunglasses in a bid to get him aboard a flight to Berlin, after hiring a taxi to take them to the airport.  The two women - his widow, 66, and step-daughter, 41 - said they thought he was asleep.

I wonder if they ordered a meal for him.

APRIL 7,  2010

VANCOUVER, British Columbia, April 6 (UPI) -- A self-admitted heavy-sleeping British professor says he was appalled to wake up in a Canadian airport service hangar 90 minutes after his flight landed. 

Must be a real exciting teacher.

APRIL 6,  2010

DUBAI (Reuters) - A Dubai court Sunday upheld a one-month jail sentence given to a British pair for kissing in public, media reports said.  The British man living in Dubai and a female friend were arrested in November on charges of kissing intimately in public and consuming alcohol. An Emirati mother had complained her child had seen their indiscretion. 

Welcome to the 10th century.  Glad you could make it. 

APRIL 5,  2010

LOS ANGELES, April 4 (UPI) -- Hundreds of people in Los Angeles and others in cities worldwide got a chance to channel their inner child by indulging in public pillow fights this weekend.  Saturday's events in about 150 communities were part of International Pillow Fight Day, promoted by the public art group Newmindspace, the Los Angeles Times reported Sunday.

And to think, Obama wants the United States unilaterally to cut its number of pillows in half.

APRIL 4,  2010

LONDON, April 2 (UPI) -- A British polling company said its latest survey indicates Britons tell an average of four lies a day, with the most common being a lack of phone signal.  OnePoll said its survey of 4,300 adults suggests Britons tell an average of nearly 1,500 lies per year, with the most popular lie being a claim of having no phone signal when failing to return a missed call, The Daily Telegraph reported Friday.

Compared to the Obama administration, the British are at the pinnacle of integrity.